remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
