why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
