I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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