sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
