i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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