I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
