I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
