I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Randomize
