Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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