This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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