yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
