..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
