so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
