Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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