Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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