I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I am midnight drunk by noon
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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