Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
