so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
