Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
