Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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