You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
