so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
