that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
