Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
