Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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