So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
