Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
