MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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