Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
