He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
