When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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