it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
