This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
