she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
