Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
this hospital has no fireball
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
