omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
