I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
