you turned your livingroom into a bong?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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