I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I don't deserve a penis
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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