worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
