living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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