he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
