u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
