u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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