is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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