did you get engaged???
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
