Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Someone stole a lamp last night.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
