Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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