Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
