But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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