Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
